Witch One
Jul 13th, 2014

funny homage random

Ostello: Gee, Cabbott, I uh… I just heard what happened, and that’s terrible.

Cabbott: Yes. Judy took the news particularly badly. She loved that cat.

Ostello: Don’t worry pal, we rounded up all the witches in the area, and they’re all lined up here. Go ahead and see if you can pick her out.

[Window lights up. Cabbott looks for a moment.]

Cabbott: Alright. I’m sure Witch One killed my cat.

Ostello: Great! Go ahead an tell me.

Cabbott: Tell you what?

Ostello: Tell me which one killed your cat.

Cabbott: Well, I just have.

Ostello: You have? Which one was it?

Cabbott: Yes. I’m quite sure.

Ostello: Sure it was which one?

Cabbott: Right.


Ostello: Oh. On the right? [Into the microphone] You, there! Number Five, step forward!

Cabbott: No, not on the right. You’re right Witch One did it.

Ostello: The one on the right?

Cabbott: No. Witch One.

Ostello: I don’t know! That’s why you’re here.

Cabbott: Yes, and I’m telling you. I’m sure Witch One did it!

Ostello: Well, don’t just stand there, tell me. We’ll put her away for good!

Cabbott: I am. Witch One did it.

Ostello: Listen. I’ll ask the questions around here.

Cabbott: Alright.

Ostello: Which one killed your cat?

Cabbott: Yes.


Ostello: Ok. Was your cat killed?

Cabbott: Yes.

Ostello: And is the killer on the other side of this window?

Cabbott: Yes.

Ostello: So which one killed your cat.

Cabbott: Yes. She landed her broomstick right on top of him. Poor guy never stood a chance.

Ostello: I don’t need the details, pal!

Cabbott: Alright, I’m just telling you Witch One killed my cat.

Ostello: Well? I’m all ears!

Cabbott: It was Witch One! [Brief glance] Or… maybe Witch Two?

Ostello: Oh! So there mighta been an accomplice?!

Cabbott: No, no, it was just One.

Ostello: Get your alibi straight, pal!

Cabbott: Look, I’m sure Witch One did it. Judy was a witness. She can confirm.

Ostello: We don’t have time to bring in other witnesses! Just tell me (since you’re so sure): who killed your cat?

Cabbott: Witch O…

Ostello: [Interrupting] I’LL BREAK YOUR ARM, YOU SAY “WHICH ONE DID IT”!!

Cabbott: Alright, calm down. Maybe we should do it by process of elimination.

Ostello: What? You’re gonna tell me which four didn’t do it?!

Cabbott: Right, and it wasn’t Witch Two either…

Ostello: Here we go again with the accomplice story!

[A cadet bursts in]

Cadet: Sarge! We’ve caught the cat killer!

Ostello and Cabbott: You have?!

Cadet: Yeah! Turns out, the source that told us about all the suspects forgot about one. It was a *source error* all along!

Your E-Sheep:

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